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Meirhaeghe speaks

By Jason Sumner, VeloNews associate editor
Published: Sep. 15, 2004

Following an out-of-competition test two days before the Mont-Ste-Anne World Cup, the then-reigning world cross-country champion Filip Meirhaeghe found out that he had tested positive for EPO on July 27. Meirhaeghe didn’t fight the result, immediately announcing his retirement from the sport. Since then he’s spent time working on his neighbor’s farm while he tries to figure out what to do with the rest of his life.

Meirhaeghe also made a surprise appearance at the world mountain bike championships in Les Gets, France, where he hoped to clear the air with some of his former sponsors and racing peers. Below are excerpts from an exclusive interview with VeloNews. For more — including how much he spent, what the drug did for him and whether or not he’ll race again — check out the next issue of VeloNews.

VeloNews: How’s life?
Filip Meirhaeghe: In the first weeks it was the weirdest feeling, like I was literally looking at a black wall. Just saw a black wall. That’s a really weird feeling because all the sudden everything I’ve lived for in my whole life practically was gone. I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to go, what to do, I just didn’t know. That’s a very weird feeling. VN: What’s this about working on a farm?
FM: My neighbor is a farmer, so when I was at home I had to keep physically busy. If I wasn’t physically busy I was mentally really bad. I felt that I was going down. I didn’t want to go down. A lot of my friends and the people close to me, they warned me that this was going to happen — it’s probably still going to happen — but as long as I can keep physically busy I’m okay.

At my neighbor’s farm it was straw season, so I worked there. I’ve been learning to drive all his tractors and I just help out. It keeps me busy, and that is necessary. It’s something that doesn’t remind me of my sport at the moment. It was necessary to just get away from it.

VN: How have you been received here at the world championships?
FM: It’s been good. I feel very supported I have to say. I haven’t had any bad reactions. I thought about it a long time to come here. There was a lot of work on the farm. But I was thinking for a long time, no I am not coming. And then I decide at 7 in the morning to get up and pack my bag and go. Some friends also called and said you have to go, because people that want to talk to you, you will be happy to talk to them. And people who don’t want to talk to you, don’t worry about them. They don’t have to come and talk to you. You are there for the ones who want to talk to you.

VN: Are you mad you got caught?
FM: I’m disappointed. It was bad luck, pure bad luck. It was out of competition, so this is the bad luck.

VN: Why did you retire immediately?
FM: That was a decision I took when I started. If something goes wrong I will face the consequences. I have always been taught in my life to be responsible for my actions. So this is what I did, nothing more and nothing less. I think this is the way to go in life in general. Just be responsible for what you do. I knew something could go wrong, so I decided if it does go wrong I’ll take responsibility. Maybe I’ll be punished more because of that, but in life that’s the way people should be, responsible for what they do.

VN: Why did you do it?
FM: I’ve asked myself this question a million times, but I’m not going to do that anymore because it’s over. It happened.

VN: How did you find out?
FM: A fax was from the Belgium federation came to my home. It was not a fax to me it was to my team manager, but the team manager lives at my house (Note: Specialized team manager Susan Leonard is also Meirhaeghe’s fiancée). I also got a letter but I had to sign for it and at the time it came I wasn’t home. It was at the post and I had to go get it. But then I see the fax and I read it. It was a really weird moment.

VN: What happened after you read the letter?
FM: I found out on a Tuesday around four in the afternoon and I have the press conference on Thursday at 10 in the morning. I called Specialized and some other people, friends and family. I didn’t want them to hear it from the press, I wanted them to hear it from me. That was hard that I had to call them and tell them, but it needed to be done that way.

VN: What’s next?
FM: One day I’m thinking I’d like to stay in the mountain bike world, try to build something up, something positive. And the next day I’m thinking I should try something completely new. Completely out of the cycling world and just see where I get.